Do you make choices from fear?
This is personal... I recently had an experience with a woman I adore when she verbally attacked me and broke up following a wonderful, flawless week of travel together. Why?
She explained in a follow up apology letter that she felt so good with me that it made her feel vulnerable and scared. Her solution was to break it off, destroy our good rapport and run. She reasoned that it brought up old feelings of hurt from a past relationship and she is best served to protect herself by escaping with a burnt bridge. This turn-of-events was very hurtful to say the least...
I had to ask myself - do I you make choices out of fear, or potential? If I keep one foot out of a relationship, will I ever get the opportunity to explore the full potential of love? Won't I just walk in small circles and miss the real connections? It only takes one opportunity to find or miss a connection with my dream partner. Just one!
The concept of preemptive self protection is a flawed one. We are sabotaging a new relationship when we make choices from a place of fear and ask the other person to prove themselves trustworthy. That is really just my own distrust that I bring to the table and in-turn deny my partner the opportunity to appear great in my eyes. It's not fair to them and it lacks ownership of my participation. It's my crap. Not theirs.
Instead of being distrusting, I now choose to give my trust freely and see what my partner does with it. If they fail, it's on them and I can move forward with peace, because I gave it my best, sincere effort. But if we succeed, we will never have to experience the pain and struggle of distrust between us. It's a terrible feeling to sabotage a relationship, wonder what could have been and feel responsible for the outcome...
Try this. Make decisions from a place of potential and opportunity, instead of fear. See what happens and feel the difference. An outcome of connection is far more likely to succeed. Give love a chance. What do you have to lose if you hold back? Everything you've ever dreamed of!